Public Speaking--- Want to IMprove!!!

22/01/05
HAd a very long day indeed.
Went for thumbs up 2 in the morning..
Realized that i am still quite afraid of public speaking.. My Heart seems to be conquer by fear as i start to talk in front of the crowd.. AS i try to rationalize this act, i realize that it could be due to classical conditioning in primary school whereby i was always in the center of ridicule whenever i start to speak. Coz of my mild speech defect in the past.

I thought, this had been gone for so long, and i can only vaguely remember, but still the symptoms never seems to disappear.

But as i went for service in the evening, A pastor Enlighten me through the use of her wisdom and words.

THis was the first time i went for a children's worship session in TC (At marine parade) The Little boys and gals, look so innocent, cute and adorable. They seems to have the *Love me Face, Really can't stand it..

Anyway as the pastor start to speak to the small kids, i realize that i seems to be with them,
PAstor: IN our heart, sometimes there is fear, Perhaps we have done something wrong or we are afraid of something, But we can cast all our anxieties to him, the holy one. He forgive all sins with his power. What we have to do is just filled our hearts with a gratitude for his overwhelming compassion.

IN our heart, 2 Conflicting emotions CAN't stay at the same location. WIth Gratitude, there is no another space left for FEAR to invade in.
*I can DO it!!!*


23/01/05

Hey Cailing Have been so efficient, setting up a blog for for OG again..
She have done it again.
QInlong Shows his THumbs UP!!!
YOu are the Best!!*

My Gf send me a card!! SO nice... Sometimes i feel, that it is the small things in life that touches us. Even a small gift that is full of sincerity can touch us most of the time. Agree? =P

24/01/05

Saw Yumin on the bus today.. Hey!! Dear friends, sometimes if i appear to be cold, i am not okay. MY heart is always warm, but sometimes my shyness gets the better of me.. Cool. Still Trying to improve on that aspect to make it a stable core of my personality = Totally charged up and energized every single day, min and secs.
And do away with the self-consciousness

Went for Lunch with Ivan and YAting.
Treated him to GUild House.. COz we had this healthy competition on the fact that whoever get better results shall treat the other party.
THe Healthy Competition is ON again!! HAha.. Who wanna play aso..

Try to Pia my first assignment of this sem just now..
Didn't leave it to the last min, but there was 1 question that i didn;t know how to do.
Discuss my tutorial with Lihui. I think doing and completing tutorial can be so much fun sometimes, when u finally can solve a question. A pity is that i handed te assignment an hour late.. I hope the lecturer will show grace and not take away the 4 tutorial pts!!

I Got a Five day week!!!

Wah! Yenleng... u Sounded so sad when u gotten ur 4.5 days week..
Suddenly, i feel sadder.. Actually got 5 days week..
Dear have been calling me silly for planning my timetable in such an awkward way..
Mm.. Actually quiet inefficient to have so many days week with so many free hours in btw..
But guess that would be what i be doing for this sem..

Suddenly, the qn.. "Are u doing honours" Seems to be very popular..
Mm.. Results for the past 3 sems.. still okay only.. think the only way is to Improve, Improve and Improve.

However, the attitude now doesn't seems to be burning with desire..
yenleng and me suggest study group..
Can satisfy few desire..
1) Desire to chat
2) Clear up things that we dun understand..
INterested pple? LEts form study group... DIscuss Discuss Discuss..

ANd sorry Ivan.. Have been quite broke recently.. and i actually forgotten thurs is my Cell grp day..
CAn't go out liao..

Anyway.. lets go out soon okay? Hope we can take the same tut slot!
Take care, friends...

Thanks to all my friends, who have shown their care, one way or the other.

Time really passes quickly, and in the twinkling of an eye, i have age, 22 years old and still aging every single seconds, single minute, hrs, days, and months. With every single moment that i use to type this blog, and every single second that u take to read this blog, we are actually growing up.

Flashbacks seems to be replaying every single moment of my life. Sometimes i ponder, what makes a person's life successful? My answer to this is not money, glory or fame. ALl these would fades.. Setting World record.It is a good aim and desired goal to strive and achieve but still record are just there to be broken. Nothing is impossible. As i am thinking about this statement.. i am still pondering, what makes a man successful.

I think it is the life that he touches, the network of people and community he builds and a good life that is constantly being watch over by Angels.

Most man try to strive to improve. Always think that it is simple to applied what is being taught. But sometimes things doesnt seem to be what i imagine.
i tot emphathy would allow me to understand situation better, but sometimes, there is only so much that empathy can do..

Still Suffering, misery, failures are just part and parcel of life. Ultimately, they are the moludlers of success. SOmetimes, the hard way might be the best way to whip myself back into shape.

Trying to plan my schedule in such a way that every single moment of my mind would be occupied.. Still, i am still trying to improve myself,
Dear friends!! Just wanna let u ALl know tat U Are the BEST@!!!!!!!

WE ARE THE BEST!!! AND let strive on together and not just leave footprints in each other's heart but also footprints on the sand as we walk the journey ahead!!

Short and sweet memories for the past 7 days.

Let me see what i have been up to these days.
05/01/05
WEnt for Thumbs up with ANthony. THe kids at Henderson were very friendly and it seems very purposeful to do such empowerment volunteer event. Enjoyed myself lots. It was a long day, went back to school to help yating monitor her bids and den meet kim yew in the evening. We catch up quite a bit. Feeling less guilty that i once wanted to ask my friends to join me in MLM. (Multi LEvel Marketing).. Though it wasn't something really great to talk about, but still i learn some experience from it. I have learn to let go of past hurts. Maybe i am still learning.. But God is gracious

06/01/05

Wanted to watch movie with yenleng, yanling, Ivan and Dar dar initially. But someone actually fall sick. IN the end, only 4 of us went to watch this documentary. *Nobody Knows...* Haha... It reminded me of a hilarious story in which ivan and Yating was conversing on MSN.
Yt: Hey wanna watch movie a not?
Ivan: What show..
Yt: Nobody Knows
Yt: That movie..
Ivan:..... "Nobody knows that movie" *faint...
(Nobody knows what movie to watch still ask me for wat?)

Gosh!! Ivan has misunderstand the movie title for a statement..
haha...ANyway... 4 person went to watch and at the end of the show... Nobody was stuck in the cubicle.. Was very touching and sad but dun think anybody cry

07/01/05
Promised to dedicate my Fri to dar dar because she said that she havent had a good rest at home since coming back from her trip from thai.. Therefore went to her house. Look at her baby photos till now!! GOsh!!!!!!! She was so cute and adorable when she was young... maybe in primary 1.. Haha.. And she look grumpy when she was in sec 3 ... ROund, grumpy and pimples face den. haha.. and A bit round last year too.. Perhaps she really got thinner recently.. no wonder people started saying she look thinner.

08/01/05
RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up suddenly as i jerk up from my bed.
YT: WHere are u now?
I check the time, it was 9.15.
Realizing that i am suppose to be at her hostel by 10 to help her shift her stuff esp her fridge back, i started to organize my tots..
QL: Was completely upset and was filled with apologies.
Went to bath.. and in no time i was out of my house.

REached school at 10.15.. it is really amazing how i can reach school so fast i tot to myself, knowing at the back of my head that it takes around 47-60 mins to travel.
I must have rushed like mad.. but still alas... nothing is saved..
Dar dar complain of backache after that because she and her dad moved the fridge
IT just adds on the the guilt. Sigh..
But still i make up for it.. by helping her do lots of area cleaning... WOW!!
SPeck and CLean.

Den left my lappie at the com center.. sigh.. it has been so difficult.. not being able to access internet whenever i want to. Mm.. hope the people in the com center can solve my outstanding wireless issues.

Went to Coffee house with dar dar.. An imitation of kaya toast. Our usual schedule be4 church.. ENjoy the time with her... And went to cell group.
It was really nice. Rennie, my cell leader, took this time off to teach me things i do not understand from the bible. REally very totful and outstanding. Furthermore, some cell bros turn up too... Really nice. THanks Xiaoshan, ken and Derrick!

09/01/05
Went to bili house to bake CookIe!!! Wow.. quite easy and fun.. it was preplanned so long ago...on the 5th of jan. Wanted to surprise my gf, so i didnt tell her..
ANd as she called me, i couldn't lie and i almost slipped and tell her what i was doing. but luckily i was smart enough to tell her... Sorry, very busy.. call her back later.

Heaving a sign of relief as she put down the phone, i stood up happily and turn my head sharply and *BANG!@~!@#!@!#~
OUCH!!!!!!! I hit my head against the round metal hanging lights, which by now were jerking violently with my powerful header..
Surprise her with the cookie at nite.. ANd yes!! SHe was really surprised!! SO happy that i succeeded.
stay for a few mins at her house and left for home.> COol... TOmolo school starting already.

10/01/05
First day of SCHOOL!!!! So happy. THough the holiday is short, but still i feel that i have rested enough.. COol.. to see so many people again. But... also a bit scary... suddenly it seems there are so many people in NUS, Ivan commented..
I feel the same way too.. Wow.. not very use to the amount of pple here yet..
Reading area at level 6 was very empty, with a few steady people who seems to be starting of to study ferociously. Perhaps they are the one with burning passion!! KEEP IT UP!!!!! However the computer area at level 4 was fully packed.. WOw... still got so many people queueing up waiting to use the com.

Went for econometrics lecture.. and saw Junxiang and SHandy. Initially was quite surprised to see Shandy going into the LT13... coz i tot she is a socio major.
Ql: huh.. Shandy, u also taking this mod mah??
Shandy: Yeah lor!! Yeah Lor, Her eyes starts to brighten up and she seems to be nodding her head.
Ql: FOr a moment there, i was almost convinced by her, but her smile seems to give her away.. HAHA!! DUN BLUFF!!!!!!!!

Den afterwards, i turn to Junxiang
QL: HEY, junxiang, u taking 10 mods this sem?
JX: huh? no lah, only 5
Ql:10 wat... 5 mods urs, 5 mods, shandy..den shandy laugh... but junxiang seems to be expressionless..

AIyo... they 2 aso very on.. keep going for each other's lecture
very steady!!

Year 2005

Wanted to blog yesterday but i took 5 mins break on the bed and it ended up in a 5-6 hr worth of sleep. Guess I was a bit tired physically after the church network retreat... in which i didn't sleep much. However spiritually i feel so refreshed and energized.

Year 2004, AS things seem to be going fine With SARS lifted. No more wearing of masks... and the being an alarmist whenever anyone sneeze especially in crowded area like in the MRT. Rampant widespread of disease by the bird flu seems to have been curbed. When chicken seems to be a banned food and the fluctuations in the price of the eggs seems to be on the conversation of gossip. THese seem to already be on the back of our mind as something of the yester past. SOmething that have affected people at the point of time.

However as we slowly start adapting ourself to the recent time. THe peace that we enjoyed before the imminent threat seems to be restored as the concerns of death happening around us seems to distance itself away.

AS everything seems to be better and a much awaited christmas.. THe Tidal Waves came in. THe biggest earthquake that happened in this century. With a Rither scale of 9, it destroyed many homes and took away many lives. Though the waves did't Hit Singapore directly. Many were affected by it on a emotional and spiritual scale.

Can't really imagine how so many live would have been lost in the otherwise calm and peaceful Sea that i have been loving for so many years. Everything just seems so uncertain.

But still, as disaster Struck, I think the Love of god is still immense. Sumatra have block away everything that Singapore might have experience. As it provide us with direct support.

What Pastor Hee guan said seems to be ringing in my ear. I will remember his inspiring life stories and i am trying to make a difference in ....
i Know what i have to do.. i will try to live live to the fullest but yet submit myself to the will of God.

Up to now.. what i can do now is pray for the victim of the people affected by the tidal waves and try to help in watever i can.

*Continue to Live life till the fullest and live as if u are going to die the next day...avoid double minded as it is the sword that takes away the joy of happiness. Stay cool and be consistent*