Walking In freedom

Walking In freedom

What is the goal in life, what is our purpose and what are we seeking for? These are some of the questions that one might pose at some juncture of our life. It is inevitable that without goal or future seeking dreams or ambition, we might become twirl and contorted into a state of uncertainty. Uncertain about what we want in life, what really matters and what is our purpose of being here. I, myself went through this junction before. This kind of self –seeking purpose arises from a desire of wanting to know myself.

I feel that I haven’t been a really good, ideal person. To me, the definition is to be a person who forms good friendship, relationships and kinship. Friendship is just like doing revision for our modules, after attending the lecture, we are suppose to make a consistent and diligent effort to revise and spend time on the module. This can then be translated into a better grade. Friendship needs to be oil and maintain too. Quality time and communication need to be invested after the initial stage of knowing somebody. This allow for trust, dependency, sharing and joy to be developed. To a pity, I think I haven’t been doing enough for the friends and individuals around me.

Pastor Mevlyn’s preaching was excellent today. A part of the preaching was on Character, which can be developed via sanctification. That is the cleansing of immorality and the beginning of a holy life.
In the Bible, Galatians 5:22-23
“ But the fruits of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patient, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.”

Altogether, there are nice qualities aka fruits that can be cultivated by leading a holy life. Pastor Melvyn said that we should walk in the spirit and wait for Jesus Christ and as we lead a holy life, we would be able to bear fruits in the spirit. And thus Character and these 9 qualities above would be developed. I was thinking to myself? What are the qualities that I have and what are some of these qualities that shines from my friends and that I can emulate from.

Firstly, Love, I just want to give thanks to Yating, that she have been a loving, fun, playful and humorous girl who never fails to show care and concern whether I am down or out. That she have been there for been all along these one year of being together. I think that, she is someone with an innocent and soft heart who empathize with people easily. I love u yating. So Yating come to my mind when the word ‘love’ appears.

Secondly, Joy reminded me of the happiness, fun and Joy that lingers whenever we chat heartily or whenever we my OG’s friends play games together. I think I should work on this aspect of my life too. I feel that I haven’t been a great friend to all yet. I will make an effort to be part of ur life too okay?

Thirdly, Peace is the state of feeling that I m feeling when I was thinking about all the fruits of the spirit. When I think about God and I have faith that he will provide and cast all my worries onto him. Believe in him that all things will turned out fine and rainbow would be waiting at the end of the rain. No matter financially, socially, emotionally, god will heal me. On a greater context, peace would be harmony between people of all nations, communicating effectively and working conflicts out. Doing away with all international tension.

As for Patient, still trying to develop this aspect. I have never been a patient person. In secondary school, my good friend, waileong told me that I had a rather hot tempered and I have to deal with my emotions better. I took his advises into account and I try to change. However, in national service, we were trained to be goal-oriented and we were always rushing for time. It somehow gets my character started again. Now, let me redo everything and start learning to be more patient.. Thanks to everyone who have make this possible.

For this aspect of the quality, Yanling left me with quite a deep impression. I remember that, I had a big fight with Ty one of this day and I was hiding in the cubicle. Ivan knows what I am doing rite..? =P Having a tunnel vision with no way out, coupled with a great emotional distress, I could not help but getting lost in the dark cloud of vision that envelops. As I prayed to god, he listens, and Yanling msg me this simple msg that I could never forget. “ Qinlong, just try to learn to be patient…” Simple words but it churns out to be the most effective moments in my life. Thanks Yanling.. really appreciate you lots. =P

Yenleng come to my mind when I am shown with the word kindness. Think that she had been very nice, sweet and kind to all her friends. It is the little things that she do that really touches us. She remembers the small details which seems trivial but is actually important to us. She had been very encouraging and kind towards her friends. For i.e. when I had an internship interview, she wrote a card to me.. Someone who may try to act loud at times but the temper that she had is worth my admiration. Haven’t see her getting angry before, although I already tested her patience for a few times already. Thanks for being so magnanimous and for being my friend! So nice.. =P

None other can fight with Kenny in terms of faithfulness. Think that this guy is really very committed to his girlfriend. I feel that he is a very faithful guy who give his all into his relationship. Mm.. Can see that he is a faithful and caring person.

We can link gentleness to cailing ba. Always appear to speak in her gentle tone and very caring towards her friends. Think both cailing and Yonglin are very gentle person. This was illustrated in the canteen when his attitude exudes a sense of gentleness and even yating mentioned, Qinlong, can u be more like him… =P

Ivan can be considered quite good. Though everytime, I joke around asking him to send me back to Boon lay though he live in Potong Pasir, he know that I didn’t mean it. However, there was this time that I were really sick and having a bad headache. HE actually wanted to send me all the way home. Think his language of love is to go the extra mile for people. =P Usually, he will send all the gals back to their respective homes though he might have to make a big detour. Recently, he treated Yating and me to Sakae Sushi. All of us, went in by faith, knowing that we are quite poor recently. IN the end, he paid for us. Thanks Ivan. Anyway, I feel that I have been closer to u… last year, last sem as comparative to this sem. Think I will continue to make efforts to be good friend and DB again okay. Just dun get angry with me easily k? *REJECT, Reject, Reject!!
=P We can resolve any inter- tension or conflict with more effective communication okay. i.e. Ultimately, we know that we are out to care and show brotherly love for one another. Conflict is just a disagreement on a certain part of our tots but not on our love.

All in all, wat I have just describe above are my opinions and role models on certain aspects of qualities that I can emulate on. Certainty, everybody possess more character than just one. But I think that I am still falling behind certain qualities. God had planted a seed in my life… for me to grow.. so that the when the seed matures, the fruits of the spirit will show its power. And what I really want is to walk in step with the holy spirit, that is my vision and to grow fruits. Love, Joy, Peace, Patient, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

G12 Conference and uplifting of the spirit!

Test and Friendship
]Just had a psychology test yesterday, feeling a bit tired after that, with so many modules to study and the exam drawing near. Heard that people taking health psychology gonna have a midterm on this coming Thursday. Continue to preservers Ivan! I believe that ur hard work will reap its benefit when the time come. And was chit chatting with yenleng after studying in lib at about two that day. She was very crappy, silly but funny.. She proclaims that I have put a curse on her! Hey, Yenleng, U know, I am not a witch leh, how to put curse. I believe u find ur Mr right soon.. coz u are always such a sweet friend, being around when needed. Writing cards that encourages and motivates Thanks for being such a great pal man!
One more thing to add, my best pal, Waileong sms me and said he had just gotten his first pay cheque and will me treating yating and me to dinner. Hey waileong, thanks so much and have bee quite busy recently.. Hope to catch up with u soon okay?

Christianity
Today, I went for the G12 Conference today. It is a Christian international conference that wills last 4 days. Thurs- Sun. Actually have been feeling spiritually quite low recently, but this conference give me a chance to replenish my strength in the lord. Thanks Rennie for uplifting my spirit when it is down and out. Anyway, Rennie have been my cell leader for about half a year. Feel that he is a holy man who have a spiritual walk with lord. Think I should mix around more with man of his caliber too. He had help me with this inner struggle.

Besides him, there is Kenny too, he have been praying for me too. It was the one of the longest and best prayer that I have received. Something so applicable and serves the immediate concern. Thanks Kenny.

Not to forget, my dar dar… She is the one who decides that she will continue to go for this conference though she got a test on this coming tues. She believe that the lord would provides thus this create more opportunity for us to be with the lord. Thanks sweetheart.

Countdown- 17 more days to exams

Intellectual development
In A twinkling of an eye, another sem is coming to an end. IT is this time fo the year whereby all or generaly most students will start working hard to prepare for the final battle. 17 more days to the start of the exams le!! All friends.. Pull up our socks and jiayou okay? Have to start studying soon aso le.. Not much time left.

One of my psychology tutorial was amazing yesterday. (Not to say which one because must keep the identity) Can't imagine that our tutor/lecturer actually bought the exam paper to the tutorial. Not that he planned to show us but he was very nice to give us explicit hints on which chapters to study. What to study and what would be his focus.

Mm.. i feel that i am not doing well for 2-3 modules this sem.. Gotten below mean for 2 midterm tests. It might be an indication that i am not understanding the concepts as well as i should, thus an indication that i should improve on it.

Emotional and Friendships
Felt quite upset on saturday. Know that one of my good friend feels that his life seems to be in stagnation.. Sleep, eat, study, work. He feels that life is very monotonic and that he is not very happy with it.. Feel quite bad that i can't do really much. Haven't spend enough time and effort to be a in a part of his life.. SOrry dear friend.. DUn get disheartened okay.. Lets meet up soon.

On the other hand, got a misunderstanding with one of my friend. Initially tot that the way he sms me was quite mean and not nice. Thus i reciprocate a msg that wasn't too friendly i think. Mm.. haven't been talking and hanging out with u recently. Hope that the small misunderstanding.. we dun take it to heart. Sorry about this.

Actually felt quite upset on sat nite, with worries and project dateline creeping up, felt quite upset that nobody is listening or showing enough care for me. Guess it was just a rough patch of life that i went through that nite. A bit lost in the wilderness. Yenleng was nice to listen to me and gave me some advices. I must have make u worried.. Sorry ah.. Were try to guard my heart in the future..
cannot be too affected by the emotional tumble.

Spiritual
In terms of spiritual being, think i haven't been growing as much as i would like to.. Think i really want to grow.. Thinking of being more proactive.Considering of joining the open cell in the morning.. whereby we have to reach school at around 8.30. Start the day by giving thanks and worshipping God. The only bad thing is i have to wake up very very early. But maybe through this, i can learn more and develop more spiritually.
Have been learning to take up guitar lessons for a long time already.. but still ahvent been able to get the basics. THink i should commit myself to learning to play this instrument.. I wanna lead worship in the future.. Just so cool to worship god with an instrument.

Family and relationship
Feel very fortunate to have a great girlfriend, who is very sweet and always loving me lots. Though sometimes we like to bicker and sometimes she got mood swings, i really appreciate her a lot. On the whole, treasure the time that we spend together and she would be the one that i always wanna protect and look after..
Mm.. with regards to family, think having some difficulty in some aspects..
But think god's grace endures forever.. should be able to tide over this aspect..

Anyway, trying to lead a balanced life..
Not easy.. but trying. =>
God bless you. Whoever is reading this. =P

Are tests our measurement of intellect?

Sometimes, i wonder, are test really measurement on our understanding and measuring part of our intellect. How come, sometimes i worked so hard, i didnt get the grades i deserve, yet sometimes, when i am slacker, things seems to be slightly better. How can i improve on myself seems to be the question i have been asking myself. However, it have come to my understanding that, Yes!! It is good that, we are constantly trying to improve myself, maybe accepting feedbacks, be it negative or positive, seeking changes. Becoming stronger or better with each passing day. However, it came to my realization that nobody seems to be able to be perfect.

Be it perfectly outstanding, Perfectly good. WE can strive, Strive for the best, Aim for the stars, Win the moon. Achieve this and that glory, but nobody is perfect. It is the understanding and acceptance of one another imperfect character that unconditional positive regards occur. Friends are like that too rite? Give and take.

However, sometimes we can get so blinded by the imperfection in people's character that we make a big hole out of the mountain. Yet, it is imperfect, which is hard to deny, but to be able to see the goodness is the best.

All impromptu tots..

Okay.. update a bit about today.
Yenleng and me went back to Yating's hostel.. haha.. The three of us actually planned to study together in yating's hostel. WE are not bery fat lah.. But guess i gotten claustaphobia.. Too little space to let me move around..
in the End, Yenleng, was so tired that she just lie down on the bed to sleep.

We planned to have dinner together at Subway, because the health conscious Yating, wanted to eat something green..
Hey Yating, So health conscious ah!! U Are getting thinner and thinner with each passing day already la!!! Anyway, All three were looking foward to eating that until we reach Harbour Front!!
Subway is Close today!! AIyo.. SO Sway.. Hahah.. guess just not very fated huh..

Yenleng suggested PastaMania.. and yating look quite okay with that, therefore i agreed too..
After we ordered, they were quite surprised with my honest remarks..
*Actually hor, i dun really like to eat PAsta*

Almost taken them aback.. and both feel bad.. Sigh.. In the end i felt quite bad to make such a remark too..

Luckily when the food was serve, the pasta was really delicious... And it make up for almost everything..

Heard from Derrick (my cell_ bro) that Bread from breadtalk only cost 1 dollar after ten.. Thus being, e *cheapskate and smartie me...
tot waiting until 10 om would be a very good bargain..
Yet.. when the time arrived, i realized that there are so many false beliefs in this world.. mm.. Not taht derrick would want to bluff me anyway. Perhaps it is just a false beliefs or a rumour he hear from somewhere.

Anyway, last but not least, i would just want to encourage one of my dear friend that firstly, my friend is capable of much better performance if u want it to happen and desire it. Secondly, i believe u can do it and thirdly, dun be too bother about test results as there are many more things to think about and aim in life

Anyway, take care, all my friends.
=P